When Sweet Spirits are Called Home

Two nights ago a five year boy from my home ward stopped breathing in his bed. When his sibling found him, they called 911. He was flown by lifeflight to Primary Childrens' Hospital where he was kept alive until late last night when he passed away. Little Teagan Bach was such a sweet, loving spirit to his family and this tragedy is such a shock to all who knew him.

Since learning of this story, I have found myself crying constantly. I can't figure out why I have been crying so much for someone I didn't know all that well. I have been contemplating this all day, and I think I have figured out why.

The Spirit inside of me, my own soul, is mourning the early loss of another soul. I feel a connection to his life because we share a common background. We were both sent here to Earth from our Premortal existence. We both chose to come here and be tested. We chose to gain bodies and live in families. And as I continue my life and my challenges, he is unable to continue his. That is why my soul and my heart ache for him. I cry because he didn't get to experience the journey of this life to its full extent. But I realize now that he has fulfilled the measure of his creation at such a young age. Heavenly Father would not have called him back home unless He thought his journey was complete. He wouldn't cheat little Teagan of his life unless He thought he was needed more elsewhere, I am so beyond grateful for the mercy of God, because I know that young Teagan will live in the Celestial Kingdom with his Heavenly Father and his brother Jesus Christ. Since he was only five, he will not have to worry about sins or mistakes he made in this life, he will automatically be sent to the top. This is one of the most beautiful lessons of the gospel, I believe, that God so loves his children.

As I have been crying all morning, I searched for answers on LDS.org. I found a talk by Boyd K. Packer that addresses the love Heavenly Father has for his young children. It is titled "Behold Your Little Ones". When Jesus was among the multitudes, He gathered the children around Him. What a beautiful image. That of all the people in the crowd He sought out the children. Packer says "Death is a separation and is according to the plan. If the plan ended there, it would be too bad, because we came to obtain a body and it would be lost. When he made it possible for us to come into this world, our Heavenly Father also made it possible for us to return to him, because he is our Father and he loves us. Do not think that because we are living on this earth, away from him, and because we can’t see him, he has forgotten us." This is an incredibly powerful message. God loves us, and so he created a way for us to return to Him. Without death, we couldn't. 

I guess my heart is also saddened because this event reminds me of my experiences with death. A year and 2 months ago, I was present in the hospital room as my Grandpa passed away. That particular moment was the closest I think I have ever felt to heaven. Seeing all of the pictures and posts the family of Teagan have posted, it reminds me of that experience. It is so hard to let someone you love so dearly pass on to the next world, but it is something we cannot control. That whole day in the hospital after my Grandpa's stroke was a weird mixture of emotions. We watched him die on the bed after leaving surgery and had to be revived. I was depressed, and yet happy for him because it meant the end of his suffering and the reunion of him and my Grandma. I guess I was really sad for us whom he left behind. But death is such a permanent thing. And so it's hard to be separated. 

What we really need to keep in mind is that death really isn't permanent. We will live again. Because of Jesus Christ, our loving brother and savior, we can use His infinite atonement and sacrifice to be resurrected and live again with our Heavenly Father and our earthly families again. So as I mourn the loss of a sweet, innocent soul like Teagan, I need to remember that God loves us, so He sent His son. 

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I've started here at Brigham Young University, and I couldn't be more excited!!! One of the most amazing aspects of this university is that there are people from all over the United States and from all of the world that attend here. I have met people from Germany, Singapore, Great Britain, Denmark, and many more foreign locations. It amazes me to see all of these diverse people come together with one thing that unites them all: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. There is a base faith that we all share, that Christ is our redeemer and we have a loving Father in Heaven who has restored his Church to the Earth in these last days through a prophet named Joseph Smith. This knowledge alone links 30,000 students and 5,300 faculty and staff members, and creates a unique sense of unity that can't be found at other universities.

Even though the core values and principles are the same for nearly all who attend here, each individual holds their own idea of how to express and live their values. I completely respect that in every person, and I myself try not to judge others for how they choose to live. As I am from Utah, I know that there is a certain stereotype that follows the title of a "Utah Mormon". It comes with derogatory messages like "You've never had to deal with non-mormons, so how would you know?" Or "You've been sheltered your whole life" or "Sorry to break it to you, but the whole world doesn't know about the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, they aren't famous" or "You must think ____ because you're from Utah" etc. Or they think that I don't live as devoutly as someone who has had to deal with more persecution and anonymity. Can I just express how obnoxious this is to me??? Of course I'm from Utah, I'm proud to be Utahn! It is a wonderful place to live, not solely because our church is headquartered here. Everyone automatically assumes that I will be judgemental, strict, and snobby to other mormons because they lived somewhere else. I do not believe this in any way, shape, or form. I am glad that our church is a worldwide organization and that people around the world share my values and faith. 

Just because I am from Utah does not mean that I have been sheltered and kept away from the evils of the world. Evil is omnipresent. Even though there were many LDS teens at my high school, I had to deal with persecution and disrespect that I am sure everyone who is LDS has had to deal with. The state of Utah is not 100% Mormon. There are bad people, there are people who have no idea what the church is all about. There are even Anti-Mormons who live among us. At my own high school we had protesters stand outside on the curb and pass out pamphlets to the kids as they left school that were all about how "Joseph Smith Lied" and such. It is not a perfect world by any means. And yet people think that I don't know? 

I have been blessed to travel to all fifty states in my young 19 years. I have been exposed to all sorts of lifestyles and cultures. I have seen the poverty that prevails in some parts of the country. I visited New Orleans after the hurricane destroyed much of the city. I sat on a city bus in Washington D.C., packed with thugs and scary people. I have walked the streets of New York at night, I've meandered through a packed market in Seattle, I enjoyed most of a cruise in a pub, and what I have seen through all of this is that we are all children of God. 

The point of all of this is not to try to get the stigma of "Utah Mormon" off of my own back, but of the backs of all LDS people. I think that any label in our church is against the teachings of our faith. We are taught to love one another as Jesus loves them. Automatically assigning a label to a person quickly blocks your ability to get to know that person for who they are, and what they do. Many times I see people saying that "Oh, she must be from Utah, she's sooo.. Mormon." I am proud to Mormon. I am happy to associate with such an incredible church that is led by Jesus Christ himself, through the mouths of Prophets. What would Jesus do? Would he label a person by "how Mormon" they are? No. He wouldn't. I think this has actually become a widespread problem in our church. Everyone is so worried about comparisons and labels that they miss the good that each person has to offer. I am not exempt from this. I admit that I have been quick to pass judgement on others, I am ashamed of that. It is my goal to treat everyone as a child of God, and to not be jaded by labels or comparisons. It was wonderful to be a Latter-Day Saint in these days, and I am grateful. But let us all try to commit to treating each other with love, kindness, and respect and not judge one another. 

*I am so sorry if anything I have written has been taken offensively, it was not intended to do so. I just want to express my views, and thought this would be a good outlet. 

I Choose To Be Changed.

I created this blog to share my experiences as I try to improve myself and change to become the person my Heavenly Father wants me to be. I love this quote because it summarizes my thoughts and feelings exactly. I choose to follow Christ, and I want to be changed. There is always room for improvement in each of us, but I want to improve in ways that will lead me to my Heavenly Father. So, let's start with a little introduction to Abigail Hope Acton.

I was born into a wonderful LDS family. I have two parents who love each other, and who were lovingly married in the temple. I have two older brothers, and a little sister. As we love to travel, we have been to all 50 states together, mostly in a mini van. I am very musical, and I play trumpet, like my daddy, and piano. I was very involved in high school with Madrigals, Symphonic Band, Utah Youth Philharmonic Orchestra, 9 Advanced Placement Courses and tons of other activities. I am starting at BYU, my dream school, in a week, and I have absolutely no idea what I will be studying. So, that's me in a nutshell. 

Except that's only a part of me.

I am a daughter of God. I am a spiritual being that has been sent here to Earth to gain a physical body and to gain agency that would allow me to choose my own path. I know that I am loved by God himself, and that He cares enough to send His Son to suffer and die, so that I may find joy. 

So, how do I find that joy? By CHOOSING to follow Christ, and by CHOOSING to be changed.