Since learning of this story, I have found myself crying constantly. I can't figure out why I have been crying so much for someone I didn't know all that well. I have been contemplating this all day, and I think I have figured out why.
The Spirit inside of me, my own soul, is mourning the early loss of another soul. I feel a connection to his life because we share a common background. We were both sent here to Earth from our Premortal existence. We both chose to come here and be tested. We chose to gain bodies and live in families. And as I continue my life and my challenges, he is unable to continue his. That is why my soul and my heart ache for him. I cry because he didn't get to experience the journey of this life to its full extent. But I realize now that he has fulfilled the measure of his creation at such a young age. Heavenly Father would not have called him back home unless He thought his journey was complete. He wouldn't cheat little Teagan of his life unless He thought he was needed more elsewhere, I am so beyond grateful for the mercy of God, because I know that young Teagan will live in the Celestial Kingdom with his Heavenly Father and his brother Jesus Christ. Since he was only five, he will not have to worry about sins or mistakes he made in this life, he will automatically be sent to the top. This is one of the most beautiful lessons of the gospel, I believe, that God so loves his children.
As I have been crying all morning, I searched for answers on LDS.org. I found a talk by Boyd K. Packer that addresses the love Heavenly Father has for his young children. It is titled "Behold Your Little Ones". When Jesus was among the multitudes, He gathered the children around Him. What a beautiful image. That of all the people in the crowd He sought out the children. Packer says "Death is a separation and is according to the plan. If the plan ended there, it would be too bad, because we came to obtain a body and it would be lost. When he made it possible for us to come into this world, our Heavenly Father also made it possible for us to return to him, because he is our Father and he loves us. Do not think that because we are living on this earth, away from him, and because we can’t see him, he has forgotten us." This is an incredibly powerful message. God loves us, and so he created a way for us to return to Him. Without death, we couldn't.
I guess my heart is also saddened because this event reminds me of my experiences with death. A year and 2 months ago, I was present in the hospital room as my Grandpa passed away. That particular moment was the closest I think I have ever felt to heaven. Seeing all of the pictures and posts the family of Teagan have posted, it reminds me of that experience. It is so hard to let someone you love so dearly pass on to the next world, but it is something we cannot control. That whole day in the hospital after my Grandpa's stroke was a weird mixture of emotions. We watched him die on the bed after leaving surgery and had to be revived. I was depressed, and yet happy for him because it meant the end of his suffering and the reunion of him and my Grandma. I guess I was really sad for us whom he left behind. But death is such a permanent thing. And so it's hard to be separated.
What we really need to keep in mind is that death really isn't permanent. We will live again. Because of Jesus Christ, our loving brother and savior, we can use His infinite atonement and sacrifice to be resurrected and live again with our Heavenly Father and our earthly families again. So as I mourn the loss of a sweet, innocent soul like Teagan, I need to remember that God loves us, so He sent His son.
